Dating Advice from the Perpetually Single

I've been thinking I might want to write a book. With this title.  I'm 31. I've been able to date since I was 16. And I've had three boyfriends. Two were under a month and the third was seven months.  Hence, perpetually single. 

What I've come to realize is that as you age,  your peers expect  you to have a certain  amount of experience and knowledge.  I don't mean sexually. There is just a confidence that comes from knowing how to communicate with another person and become intimate with them. Communication is essential! And those skills are built up over the years. You don't necessarily want to be the woman who wants to be kissed by the guy and blurts out asking why he did that.  Very embarrassing. 

First off,  be a kid! Don't try to rush growing up! Even at 16 and 17, maybe even 18, use the opportunity to you with friends and socialize! Build up your communication skills!  Get to know lots of people!  

Date for fun! I made the joke on Facebook recently that I wasn't sure dating was supposed to be fun.  Getting to know someone should be fun! I'm not saying you should discount someone if you have dosages.  That's life.  What counts in that situation is HOW you handle the situation.  Are your conflict management styles compatible? That is crucial!

Be aware of those around you.  Communicate what you mean as well as you can.  And did you know that most of your communication is nonverbal?? It's tone and behavior!  Don't try to sit as close as oy can without cause if the person's love language is touch.  Don't spend tons of time alone if their love language is  time.  Make your communication intentional and honest. 

I've heard that studios have shown the optimal age to marry is 21. At 31, i can't imagine that.  At 21, I hardly knew what I wanted out of life.  I certainly didn't know myself.  For those who do get married that young,  power to you and I hope that as you both grow,  you grow together. 

As for me, I went a few days in high school,  mostly to help a friend abide by parental restrictions.  I dated more when I was 19-21. The long- term boyfriend of seven months was when I was almost 23. And outside of two guys,  one a boyfriend and one not,  I've been on, maybe 7 dates since 2013. And some of that I was rather a hermit,  so I can be blamed for some of it. It just means that she does not denote experience. 

Dating is a skill,  and it's one you will use all your life, whether you are married or single.  Married people have just chosen who they will date for every date ahead of time.  But when you're first starting,  it's about learning to communicate,  to have fun, to work through things with someone who didn't grow up with your household's exact ideas. It's not even just about socializing one- on one.  It's about meeting people and making friends on group dates. Learning to be as assertive as you need to be with someone who may not understand.  It's about learning what you want in yourself,  your life and in your future spouse. If you don't know what you're looking for - whether that's

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